Lyrics

[Verse]
On Ward 64 in Labour Suite,
Young Mary's waters broke.
Joseph paced the corridor,
While shepherds tried to smoke.

[Pre-Chorus]
The midwife checked her birthing plan,
"You wanted pool birth, right?"
But all the rooms were taken now,
On this most holy night.

[Chorus]
Ring the buzzer! Page the reg!
There's no room in delivery!
Gas and air and CTG,
It's an NHS nativity!
(It's an NHS nativity!)

[Verse]
Three consultants from the East arrived,
In scrubs and theatre gowns,
"We brought some frankincense and myrrh!"
"The gold's for Costa rounds!"

[Pre-Chorus]
The shepherds in the waiting room,
Were told they can't bring sheep,
While angels hit the vending machine,
Their night shift half-complete.

[Chorus]
Ring the buzzer! Page the reg!
There's no room in delivery!
Gas and air and CTG,
It's an NHS nativity!
(It's an NHS nativity!)

[Verse 3]
"Have you considered pain relief?
An epidural would make it fine!"
But Mary opted to breathe,
Through the contractions every time.

[Pre-Chorus]
The blood pressure was rising fast,
The trace showed some concern,
"We might need theatre after all,"
The senior reg did learn.

[Chorus]
Ring the buzzer! Page the reg!
There's no room in delivery!
Gas and air and CTG,
It's an NHS nativity!
(It's an NHS nativity!)

[Verse]
Emergency C-section called,
The theatre team arrived,
While Joseph, scrubbed and gowned in blue,
Looked rather terrified.

[Pre-Chorus]
But there beneath the surgical light,
With spinal block in place,
The King of Kings was lifted up,
With standard checks in place.

[Final Chorus]
Ring the buzzer! Page the reg!
The Prince of Peace is here!
Apgar score of nine or ten,
And tea and toast appear!
(Time for tea and toast my dear!)

[Verse]
As the consultants wrote their notes up,
On this most blessed night.
The night staff gathered round the bed,
To see this holy sight.

[Outro]
While overhead the star shone bright,
Over the Car Park light,
Mary buzzed for help,
To latch her boy this special night!